RAMONES - Debut Album

Aaaaand here we go! It’s time to talk about the Ramones’ debut album, Ramones. The lightning bolt of a record that laid the blueprint for punk rock. Sure, other bands like MC5 and Iggy and the Stooges had helped pave the way, but nobody had put the pieces together quite like this. Those were proto-punk. The Ramones are punk rock proper–the relentless buzzsaw guitar, that trademark Ramones drum beat I mentioned in the introductory post, the songs about beating a little bratty kid with a baseball bat and a girl getting chopped up by a chainsaw. This stuff was something new.

Let’s do a quick history lesson, okay? The Ramones formed in early 1974 in Forest Hills, a section of Queens in New York City. Former teenage delinquent John Cummings (soon to be Johnny Ramone, guitar player) gave up his life of throwing rocks at The Beatles and anyone else he thought was lame, and was convinced to start a band with his friend Douglas Colvin (soon to be Dee Dee Ramone, bass player). Dee Dee was an army brat, and spent most of his youth getting into misadventures and hunting down Nazi artifacts in West Berlin, Germany, before moving to Forest Hills. The two of them recruited Jeffrey Hyman (Joey Ramone) to be their drummer. Joey, who was diagnosed with obsessive compulsive disorder, was a bit of an outcast, but he had spent some time singing in the band Sniper, under the name Jeff Starship. Thomas Erdelyi, Hungarian immigrant and son of Holocaust survivors, joined up as their manager.

It quickly became apparent that Dee Dee could not sing and play bass at the same time, and that Joey sucked on the drums. But Joey could sing his ass off. So Dee Dee was moved to backing vocals, and Joey left the drums behind to become the lead singer. Rehearsals to find a drummer were held, but nobody could play the drums the way that manager Thomas Erdelyi envisioned, so he took on the name Tommy Ramone and became the drummer. Then they started writing a bunch of songs, played some shows, got signed to Sire Records, and recorded their debut album in early 1976. Okay, this concludes our lightning quick history lesson.

From left to right: Brick Wall, Johnny, Tommy, Joey, Dee Dee, more Brick Wall

Let’s talk about this album cover. Look at these guys! They look like a demented street gang. The Ramones are masters of maintaining an image, and this is where it started. These dudes look tough. Dee Dee looks like maybe he’s hiding a switchblade in his hand back there. But don’t forget: this is the Ramones we’re talking about. Like so many of their songs that deal with dark subject matter, the more you study it, the funnier this album cover becomes. Dee Dee’s leather jacket does not fit him. What’s up with Tommy’s shirt? And hey, did you notice that Johnny is flipping you off with his right hand? In his book, Commando, Johnny says he did that as a joke, but nobody noticed at the time, so it made it on the cover. Tommy is on his tippy toes because he's way shorter than anyone else in the band.  Also, Joey is hunched over quite a bit because he’s actually really freakin’ tall. A quick google search tells me he was 6’6”. Anyway, this album cover rules, and is in contention for the title of best album cover they ever did.

Now onto the actual sound of the record. This thing RIPS! The production is perfect. It’s raw. It’s in-your-face. There are very, very few bells and whistles. This album sounds every bit as black and white, badass, and gritty as the cover looks. The guitar sounds like a damn buzzsaw or a wave of pure sonic energy, aimed at destroying any interest the listener has in delicate, pretentious things like prog rock or virtuoso guitar solos. It barely sounds like a guitar. It’s great. Dee Dee’s bass was never more present than it was on this record. It barrels and thumps along with precision, lockstep with the guitar, sounding almost like an extension of the guitar itself until you realize the bass is exclusively in the left speaker, and the guitar is only in the right speaker. That's some weirdo stuff! But it’s the good kind of weird. The best kind of weird. Way back in the day, hard panning like this was a bit more common, but by 1976, it had fallen out of style. The Ramones said, “Screw it! Those old school rock n roll records were cool. Let’s do a bit of that!” It’s almost like standing front and center at a live show, the guitarist on one side of the stage, the bassist on the other.

The drums are by no means modern, state of the art sounding drums, even by 1976 standards. The snare sounds a bit like Tommy’s smacking a pile of wet newspapers with his drumsticks. But he smacks the hell out of them! The kick drum is bassy and thumpy, but there’s not a ton of attack to it. But it works! It’s heavy and pounding. It’s exactly what this record needs. Joey’s vocals are double-tracked, meaning he sang his part twice, and they layered both performances on top of each other. It makes his voice sound big, as it echoes off of itself. When he chants “HEY! HO! LET’S GO!” it’s practically a declaration of war on boredom.

Listening to this record, the rawness almost gives the impression that it was recorded inside a garage, except it sounds far too good for that. In the liner notes for the 40th Anniversary Edition, producer Craig Leon goes into great detail about how they took measures to get exactly this sound. This isn’t the sound of a rushed, budget production. (Though it was quick, and it was relatively cheap. But that’s more due to the fact that the Ramones were fast and efficient in the studio. They got stuff done.) This sound was intentional. Craig Leon and the Ramones understood what they were doing. Unlike some of the producers the Ramones would deal with in the 80s, they understood that the Ramones’ best sound was loud, fast, raw, razor sharp, and not at all bloated. The production on this record was tailor made to get the best out of these songs, and the fit is perfect. This thing is a work of ART.

The guys listening to some mixes with Craig Leon and John Freeman

The 40th Anniversary Deluxe Edition of this record includes a new mix by Craig Leon. It’s in mono! No stereo separation at all. And it kicks equal amounts of ass. It just kicks the ass in a different way. If the stereo kicks you in the left and the right cheeks, the mono mix boots you right up the middle! OOF! It’s neither superior or inferior, but it’s fun to have the option. Fun fact: this 2016 mono mix includes Dee Dee’s count-ins (1 2 3 4!) on almost all the songs, which the original mixes omitted. It also contains the original, uncensored lyrics for Today Your Love, Tomorrow the World.

Now, let’s get into the meat of this thing: the songs!

Blitzkrieg Bop - written by Tommy and Dee Dee

The shot heard ‘round the world. The opening salvo of punk rock’s war against lame ass music. Tommy Ramone penned this song about a bunch of kids going to a concert and having a fun time, but Dee Dee made two major contributions. The first was when he changed the line, “they’re shouting in the back now” to “shoot ‘em in the back now.” The second was changing the title “Animal Hop” to “Blitzkrieg Bop.” Blitzkrieg being German for “lightning war.” Both of these changes had the effect of rendering the song’s meaning somewhat obscure, which is a bit rare for an early Ramones tune.

This song just simply kicks ass. The “Hey! Ho! Let’s Go!” chant that bookends the song became a rallying cry for Ramones fans everywhere, and for good reason. It’s fun as hell! The iconic main riff of this song is great. This tune is full of infectious energy, and is undoubtedly one of their greatest songs.

10/10 baseball bats

Beat on the Brat - written by Joey

This is maybe the greatest song about beating a child with a baseball bat ever written. If you’ve got any other contenders, let me know. Joey wrote this based on his experience growing up in Queens and dealing with annoying, spoiled children raised by rich parents.

A bit slower than Blitzkrieg Bop, the song starts with a great little herky-jerky stop and start riff before we get our first taste of something that I feel is sorely underappreciated: Johnny’s palm mutes. This is a guitar technique where the guitarist lays the edge of their hand against the strings, near the bridge of the guitar. This mutes the notes being played and gives them a sort of percussive effect. Johnny is a master of making the most of this. He has a way of altering the pressure on the strings that gives his playing a fun sort of bounce that I’ve never heard anyone else replicate.

The lyrics to this song are hilarious. “What can you do,” the song asks, “with a brat like that always on your back?” The answer is clear: take the bat to ‘em! When they played this live, Joey would often wield a baseball bat while singing. This is an all time classic Ramones tune. Cool riff? Check. Absurd violence? Check. Singable melody? Check.

10/10 baseball bats

Joey's got his bat. Look out kids!

Judy is a Punk - written by Joey

The first of the (somebody) is a (something) series of songs that these dudes would write, this song clocks in at a mere 1 minute and 32 seconds! This is a fun little blast of Ramones. Not much of an intro on this one, as Joey wastes no time jumping into the narrative of two fictional punks who join the Ice Capades and then the Symbionese Liberation Army. What are their motivations? We don't know. The only thing that is certain is that they might die.

Joey starts the second verse by proclaiming, "Second verse, same as the first!" Then he sings the first verse again. I don't know why he felt the need to warn us on this one and not all the other songs where they repeat verses. (I'm not checking myself here, but I'm pretty sure just about every song on this crazy ass record has repeated verses.) Then the words change up for the third verse. Luckily, Joey warns us by proclaiming, "Third verse, different from the first!" Thanks for the heads up, Joey!

9/10 baseball bats (I swear to you, not every song is going to be rated super high. This album is just full of good songs. Wait til we get to that one record from the 1980s. You'll be begging for a high score! MWAHAHAHA!)

I Wanna Be Your Boyfriend - written by Tommy

This is the sole ballad on this record, and is inspired by these guys' love of 1960s pop and love songs. And it's a good one! It's just not their best ballad. They would write some killer ballads in time, but this is a great start. We get our first taste of obvious instrumental overdubs here. There's a second guitar playing a beautiful, chimey part alongside Johnny's usual buzzsaw attack. I think it works. Mostly because it doesn't cover up anything Johnny and Dee Dee are actually doing, which is a real problem with some later overdubs. It's supplemental, rather than substitutive, in nature. It only adds. Some later overdubs feel a bit like the band or a producer is ashamed of the Ramones' trademark sound.

There's not a ton more to say about this one. It's a saccharine love song with a nice melody, beautifully sung by Joey. Oh! And it's got some really great background OoooOooOos for harmony.

Fun fact: live footage reveals that Johnny played this song with a capo on his guitar, which is a rarity.

8/10 baseball bats

Chain Saw - written by Joey

After the nice break that Boyfriend provided us, we're back to full speed ahead with this hilarious song. No, that's not a chainsaw running at the beginning of the song. It's a circular saw. What the crap, Ramones?

Early Ramones' bread and butter was absurd violence, and this song delivers it by the bucket full. Joey can't stop thinking about his girlfriend. Unfortunately, she's been abducted by chainsaw-wielding maniacs, and she won't be coming back. As Joey recounts, it's a "Texas Chainsaw Massacre. They took my baby away from me." That's right. He just rhymed "massacre" with "me." What're you gonna do about it?

I do question his love for this girl, though. Near the end of the song, he sings, "They chopped her up, and I don't care." If only he would have gotten over Linda so easily. (If you know, you know. If you don't, we'll talk about that later.)

9/10 baseball bats

"MassacrEE. That's how you say it, right?" Joey Ramone in the studio, probably.

Now I Wanna Sniff Some Glue - Written by Dee Dee

At last, we get our first pure Dee Dee song of the album. From this point on, he is a primary writer on every song on this album, with the exception of the lone cover song. Dee Dee would become the writer of most of the Ramones best songs, and he’s starting here with a doozy. Despite the lyrical content making up only a few short lines, this is probably the most musically interesting song on the album. It’s got chords that ring out, pauses in the music, and a freaking mini solo from Johnny! Not to mention, this song is about getting high off of sniffing glue. On the subject of sniffing glue, Dee Dee once said, “I hope no one thinks we really sniff glue. I stopped when I was eight.”

This song is a blast! The verses are sung over two alternating chords, just one full step apart. Then the next section occurs with a series of descending chords that are allowed to ring out–and are punctuated with drum hits from Tommy–before the song launches back into the previous section with the alternating chords. After moving through this cycle a few times, this song comes to a close when those previously held chords are instead strummed with a fury that threatens to devolve into utter chaos just before the song’s end. One gets the impression that this song somewhat mirrors the cycle of short-lived highs one might get from huffing adhesives.

9/10 baseball bats

I Don't Wanna Go Down to the Basement - written by Dee Dee and Johnny

This is the longest song on the album–clocking in at 2 minutes and 40 seconds–but it has some of the most minimal lyrics. Joey says he doesn't wanna go down to the basement. There's something down there, you see. The riffage on this song is pretty damn cool, and Johnny's buzzsaw attack is on full display as he plows through these bouncy, twisty chord changes. Seriously, who writes riffs like these?

Also, I have no idea why Joey doesn't sing the last half of the word "basement," but I love it.

8/10 baseball bats

Loudmouth - written by Dee Dee and Johnny

Dee Dee and Johnny are back with another one, and it kinda sounds like an alternate version of Basement. Listening to this album on CD or streaming reveals this similarity much more than on vinyl. On vinyl, you have to turn the record to side B to get to Loudmouth. That pause helps hide the similarity.

This is a tough sounding song with, once again, only a few brief lines for lyrics. Pretty standard, but then the outro of the song has the Ramones breaking up the monotony with some cymbal crashes and a stabby rhythm on the drums.

8/10 baseball bats

Dee Dee, Tommy, and Joey at one of their earliest concerts in the summer of 1974

Havana Affair - written by Dee Dee and Johnny

After the somewhat serious Loudmouth, Dee Dee and Johnny give us this humorous tale about picking bananas and being a spy for the CIA…or something like that. I dunno, man, but there's a line that says "Havana-a-go-go!" and the chorus say "baby baby make me loco, baby baby make me mambo." That's awesome. Sometimes a second guitar comes in and doubles the main guitar and it is CAH-RUNCHY! This is a prime early Ramones song. Simple, fun lyrics. Cool riffs. Great sense of humor.

10/10 baseball bats

Listen to My Heart - written by Dee Dee

This song opens with Johnny striking a high E chord, and then immediately sliding down the neck to strike a low E chord. It's a great little intro. So great, in fact, that the Ramones will use this same exact trick on a later album, to even greater effect. I'll point it out when we get there.

Dee Dee pens an excellent song about a romantic relationship that didn't work out. He won't make the same mistake next time, he says. The juxtaposition of what should be a sad story with such a poppy, upbeat sound is so, so good. The early Ramones are masters of this kind of thing. If you don't catch yourself singing "next time I'll listen to my heart, next time I'll be smart," I just think you hate fun.

I'm gonna take this time to point out that this song does a thing that a lot of early Ramones songs do, and it does it to great effect. There are extended sections where the band just runs through some chord progressions or riffs, with no vocals and no overdubs or lead parts of any kind. It's awesome. These sections that lack a real melody serve two functions. First, they act like a palate cleanser between Joey's vocal runs. The contrast between the sparse, but still rocking sections and the sections that feature Joey's killer vocalizations is really nice. Second, this is the freakin' Ramones! I want to hear Johnny's guitar do its thing. (I'm a huge Johnny Ramone guitar fanboy, so if you're sick of hearing about it, just stop reading now. I promise you it's only going to get worse.)

9/10 baseball bats

53rd & 3rd - written by Dee Dee

This song is based on Dee Dee’s real life experience prostituting himself on the corner of 53rd & 3rd in Midtown Manhattan. Dee Dee struggled with heroin addiction on and off for most of his life, and sometimes he would turn tricks to fund his habit.

This song is badass and tough as nails. It's a mid-tempo number with a main riff that's gritty and grimy and mean as hell. It's all great, but the stand-out section is when Dee Dee cuts in to sing lead vocals on the bridge. His rough, half shouted vocal lines stand in stark contrast to Joey's pristine vocal delivery. Dee Dee sing-shouts about how he couldn't go through with the…ahem…"trick-turning," so he instead murdered his client to death. With a razorblade. Yikes!

And just when you thought the song was over, it was a false finish! The band kicks back in for one more section, with Joey singing the song's title on repeat. Hell to the yeah!

10/10 baseball bats

                       

Johnny recording his legendary guitar tracks. No up-strumming allowed!

Let's Dance - written by Jim Lee

This is a cover of the 1962 hit song by Chris Montez. It's an alright song, but the Ramones take it up a notch. These guys have some super great cover songs in their catalog, but this one isn't quite to that level. It's an issue of song selection, though, not performance. The song opens on Tommy's drums doing a fun little thingamajig for a few bars, then Joey sings the opening lines before the entire band kicks in and does their Ramones Thing. Hey, what the fugg is the mashed potato dance, anyway?

Anyway, there's some pipe organ on this song, and it's pretty cool. This record knows how to do overdubs. They never take away from what the four guys named Ramone are actually playing.

7/10 baseball bats

I Don't Wanna Walk Around With You - written by Dee Dee

This is one of the earliest songs the Ramones wrote. The lyrics are extremely minimal. He doesn't wanna walk around with you. He doesn't wanna go out with you. So why you wanna walk around with him? (OooOooOoo!) That's all you get. That's all you need. Dee Dee is doing some fun stuff on bass here, instead of just sticking with the guitar like usual. There's something approximating a guitar solo, and like all truly great Ramones guitar solos, it's one note!

8/10 baseball bats

Today Your Love, Tomorrow the World - written by Dee Dee

The closing track on this album is a doozy. Seymour Stein, who owned Sire Records, hated the original opening lyrics to this song. They were "I'm a nazi baby, I'm a nazi, yes I am." He made the Ramones change them to "I'm a shock trooper in a stupor, yes I am." In concert, Joey always sang the original lyrics, and they're available on the 40th Anniversary Deluxe Edition. Dee Dee wrote this song about a fictional member of the Hitler Youth. Nazi imagery would sometimes find it's way into his songs, as he grew up in post-WWII West Germany and as a kid would sometimes find old Nazi artifacts to sell to pawn shops. Just for the record: half of this band were Jewish (Joey and Tommy). The Ramones are not a Nazi band. It's a dark joke. Shock value. It's all very tongue in cheek.

We get a couple chord progressions to open things up, and then Joey starts in after a few times through the rotation. Dee Dee's lyrics are about a German boy who is picked on, and then joins the Hitler Youth in response. Or something like that. It's not entirely clear, but it's fun. I mean, you can't really take it too seriously when these guys were just singing about sniffing glue and not wanting to go into the basement a few minutes ago. We get the verse and the chorus a couple times before the big finale. Joey belts out "TODAY YOUR LOVE, TOMORROW THE WORLD!" several times to end this record. The Ramones declared war at the beginning of this record, and they're ending it by declaring their intentions to conquer the musical world, one fan at a time. Damn, this had to be fun to sing along with the band when they were touring.

10/10 baseball bats

Totals:
Average song score: 8.9
Flow/Mood/Production/etc: 10
Cover art score : 9.7
Final album rating: A+

This is one of the Ramones' best records, and is one of the greatest albums of all time, by any band. It's revolutionary. It's fun. The songs are great all the way through, with only a small dip on a cover song that’s not quite up to par with the songs the Ramones penned. The production is great. The cover art is great. It rules hard.

The guys chilling in the studio, perhaps debating just what the hell could be in that basement

Next time: Hey! Ho! Let’s Go talk about their sophomore 1977 album, Leave Home!

ONETWOTHREEFOUR!

They've been called a lot of things. The Fast Four. The Godfathers of Punk. The Cacophonous Commandos. Those Most Unpretentious Pinheads. Those High-speed Hooligans. The Forest Hills Foursome. The Unluckiest Band to Ever Be Inducted Into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame. Okay, so maybe I made most of those up. Of course, I'm talking about the...

The iconic Ramones seal designed by Arturo Vega

I freakin' love the Ramones. They aren’t my favorite band, but they’re almost my favorite band. They’re right there. On the cusp. At the edge of the brink, teetering. They’re as close to being my favorite band as a band can be without actually being my favorite band. I’ve spent more time thinking about them and critiquing and ranking their albums and songs and album covers and live shows than any other band. You might ask, then, how are they not my favorite band? I don’t know. They just aren’t. Don’t worry about it.

I sort of missed the boat on the Ramones. I was born in late 1987, so by the time I was old enough to figure out that they existed, they had been broken up for about 6 or 7 years, and Joey Ramone had sadly passed away already. Maybe Dee Dee, too. I’m not sure of the timeline. When I first heard them, I was just a bit unimpressed, honestly. You see, the first Ramones record I heard was their–let’s say, “controversial”–1980 album, End of the Century. 

I thought these guys were supposed to wear leather jackets?

I came about the album kind of by accident. Back in the day, when people mainly consumed their music in CD form, there were these companies that would send you a thing in the mail that said “Hey! Join our club! If you give us a penny, we’ll send you a bunch of CDs that you can pick out from this list! And then you can pay us a lot more for the CDs we’ll send you after that.” The trick was, though, that I simply never paid them. They sent lots of letters asking for money. I sent those letters to the garbage can. Don’t judge me too harshly; lots of people did it. And as we all know, if everyone’s doing it, it’s totally fine! So yeah. One of the albums I picked out was End of the Century, simply because I had heard of a band called Ramones, and I had no way of knowing they were going to dominate my music listening life. These things should come with warning labels.

I had heard punk rock before, so this record wasn’t a total revelation to me. I enjoyed many of the songs, but I wasn’t a big fan of the way this record sounded. What’s with those horns all over the first track? Why does everything either sound like it was recorded in an echo chamber or under a wet blanket? This is the band that everyone has been telling me kickstarted punk rock? I mean, this is good, but it’s not revolutionary, and it’s kind of all over the place. Weird. Then, sometime later, my friend LaVal bought a Ramones compilation titled Hey! Ho! Lets Go: The Anthology. My life was never the same. 

Oh, there they are!

Two discs. Fifty-eight songs spanning the Ramones’ career. Now THIS was more like it! These guys are singing about sniffing glue, going to the beach, wanting shock treatment, wanting to live, not wanting to live, wanting to be your boyfriend, and not wanting to grow up! And the guitar is ripping and buzzsawing and being the best kind of obnoxious. I was newly converted to Ramones fanaticism. 

The best part of the Ramones, to me, has always been their embrace of minimalism. The pure Ramones sound is composed of four, and only four, elements. We'll let Dee Dee Ramone count them off.

Johnny’s rhythm guitar blasting down-strummed major barre chords through those Marshall amps, sounding more like raw sonic anger than mere music. 

Dee Dee’s–or later, CJ’s–bass barreling along with the guitar, filling in the low end.

Tommy’s or Marky’s or Richie’s or Marky’s (again) drums providing that trademark Ramones drum beat: rapid, constant 8th notes on the hi-hat or ride cymbal, kick on 1 and 3, snare on 2 and 4, and barely any drum fills. 

And, of course, the voice of the Ramones, Joey, with his sometimes faux-British accent, sometimes authentic New York accent, always inviting us along for the ride on some zany adventure to the psych ward or the local Pet Sematary.  

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To add anything else to this formula is to dilute the raw power and tarnish the authenticity of these most awesome tunes. Who needs tons of overdubs and solos? Not these guys! Played at the proper volume–that is, loud–these songs punch you right in the ear holes and leave you wanting more more more. These guys are masters of doing a lot with a little. Sure, Johnny's only playing barre chords on his guitar 99% of the time, but the riffs, Duke! The riffs! You see, the Ramones didn't know how to be a "real band." They didn't know how to be "real musicians." So they made it up. The result was weird, bouncy, glue-sniffy, slightly unhinged, bizarro riffs. Did I mention that Johnny really only played major chords? Even if they were "supposed" to be minor? This shit is good. And even in one of the ultra rare instances when Johnny plays something approximating a lead part, like in Now I Wanna Sniff Some Glue, it gets q u i r k y.

And let's not forget to talk about Joey. Joey's vocal delivery, sitting on top of the demented assault of the guitar, bass, and drums behind him, is magical. Joey's trademark singing style is absolutely essential to the Ramones sound. He can croon with the best of them. He can snarl. He can hiccup and descend into madness like on their excellent cover of Surfin' Bird. He can be sweet and sentimental. Joey can do it all. I mean, this guy can rhyme "massacre" with "me."

The other best part of the Ramones (the Ramones are so good that they have two best parts) is their lyrical and songwriting genius. “Wait a minute,” you might be thinking to yourself, “these guys wrote about sniffing glue and eating chicken vindaloo. These are not smart lyrics.” To that I say congratulations: you’re a statistic. It’s a well-known scientific fact that 47% of people are big time dumbasses. Sorry to break it to you. Look, sometimes you just really don’t wanna go down to the basement, and when that’s the case, you write I Don’t Wanna Go Down to the Basement:

Hey, daddy-o

I don't want to go down to the basement

There's somethin' down there

I don't want to go

Hey, Romeo

There's somethin' down there

I don't want to go down to the basement

And then you sing that one verse three times, cuz that’s just how much you don’t wanna go down to the basement. What else do you need? A bridge? A chorus? Psshhh. Get outta here with that. It’s a waste of time when you’re just trying to say you don’t wanna go down to the basement. These guys did that in 1974. It seems kind of obvious now, but that’s because every punk band heard the Ramones do it, and then copied it for 45 years. Great ideas get stolen.

The back cover of the Hey! Ho! Let's Go: The Anthology

I borrowed LaVal’s copy of Hey! Ho! Let’s Go: The Anthology, and I listened to it non-stop. I learned about half of the songs on guitar. At first, I preferred the first disc with its emphasis on their early work (1974-1979). Then I got into the second disc, as it featured many of the best songs from their middle (1980 - 1989) and late (1990 - 1996) periods. Then I came to my senses and realized all eras of the Ramones are pretty damn cool, even if they did have some trouble with producers in the 1980s. More on that at a later time, though…

The compilation came with a really cool booklet that told all about the history and workings of the band. This was my first glimpse into what is maybe the most fascinating part of the Ramones. These guys were legit weirdos. It wasn't an act when they sang about being institutionalized, turning tricks on the corner of 53rd & 3rd, or sniffing glue. Ok, maybe it was a little bit of an act. But that's the best part about the Ramones. (Yeah, so they actually have three best parts.) They're a cartoon. A caricature. The real deal, but dialed up to 11 on stage and on record. How much was an act, and how much was the truth? Well, that's for you to discern, and that's the fun part. And, boy, were they dysfunctional. For most of the band's existence, I would learn, Joey and Johnny absolutely did not get along. They wouldn't even talk to each other. They would often communicate through a third party, while sitting four feet away from each other in the same van. They existed like this for most of their 22 year career. And they were the only two guys who were in the band from beginning to end. We're a Happy Family, indeed.

                                    The booklet that came in The Anthology.

Having tried my hardest to wear out the 2 CDs in LaVal's copy of the comp, I started hunting down all of the Ramones albums I could find. I got a bunch of them from a great little place called Rock N Records. Damn, I miss that place. I basically built my entire early punk CD collection from there. Descendents, Black Flag, Dead Kennedys, Minor Threat, The Clash….anyway, that place ruled. I can still smell the incense and see the black light posters. And that section in the back for "Adults Only." Where was I? Oh yeah, the Ramones. I picked up all their studio albums on CD. Then I got the 3 official live albums that came out when they were still doing their thing. And that's when I realized that Ramones comp should have been twice as long, because those two CDs simply did not have enough room for all these great tunes. The Ramones wrote a LOT of damn good songs. The first four albums alone are front-to-back full of all time classics. And while I can't remember the last time I put on one of those Dead Kennedys records, as cool as they are, the Ramones have never left frequent rotation for me. Even a couple decades later. 

There’s just something about the Ramones. Even today, I’m still looking for a way to put it into words. They’re weird. Real weird. They’re exciting. A bit dangerous. (Did Dee Dee really kill that guy in 53rd & 3rd with his razorblade? I mean, probably not. But still…) A bit mythical. They’re a black and white, stark, punk rock monolith made up of 4 (actually 7, but maybe kinda sorta 8) goofy, colorful characters. There are a million stories about them and the truth is murky at best with a lot of them. And they wrote some amazing music!

My first guitar. The one I learned all those Ramones songs on. Note the Ramones Rock N Roll High School sticker!

As I continue this series, I’m going to be writing about every Ramones record, one at a time. I’ll be doing a detailed, track by track review of every song. All the way through to the end. A lot of people have said a lot of things about the Ramones. There probably isn’t a lot of new stuff for me to say about them. Except of course, for what they mean to me. So if you’re an obsessive Ramones freak like me, or somebody with a bit of morbid curiosity, maybe you’ll consider coming along for the ride. Next time: their debut 1976 record, Ramones!