Let’s do a quick history lesson, okay? The Ramones formed in early 1974 in Forest Hills, a section of Queens in New York City. Former teenage delinquent John Cummings (soon to be Johnny Ramone, guitar player) gave up his life of throwing rocks at The Beatles and anyone else he thought was lame, and was convinced to start a band with his friend Douglas Colvin (soon to be Dee Dee Ramone, bass player). Dee Dee was an army brat, and spent most of his youth getting into misadventures and hunting down Nazi artifacts in West Berlin, Germany, before moving to Forest Hills. The two of them recruited Jeffrey Hyman (Joey Ramone) to be their drummer. Joey, who was diagnosed with obsessive compulsive disorder, was a bit of an outcast, but he had spent some time singing in the band Sniper, under the name Jeff Starship. Thomas Erdelyi, Hungarian immigrant and son of Holocaust survivors, joined up as their manager.
It quickly became apparent that Dee Dee could not sing and play bass at the same time, and that Joey sucked on the drums. But Joey could sing his ass off. So Dee Dee was moved to backing vocals, and Joey left the drums behind to become the lead singer. Rehearsals to find a drummer were held, but nobody could play the drums the way that manager Thomas Erdelyi envisioned, so he took on the name Tommy Ramone and became the drummer. Then they started writing a bunch of songs, played some shows, got signed to Sire Records, and recorded their debut album in early 1976. Okay, this concludes our lightning quick history lesson.
From left to right: Brick Wall, Johnny, Tommy, Joey, Dee Dee, more Brick Wall
Let’s talk about this album cover. Look at these guys! They look like a demented street gang. The Ramones are masters of maintaining an image, and this is where it started. These dudes look tough. Dee Dee looks like maybe he’s hiding a switchblade in his hand back there. But don’t forget: this is the Ramones we’re talking about. Like so many of their songs that deal with dark subject matter, the more you study it, the funnier this album cover becomes. Dee Dee’s leather jacket does not fit him. What’s up with Tommy’s shirt? And hey, did you notice that Johnny is flipping you off with his right hand? In his book, Commando, Johnny says he did that as a joke, but nobody noticed at the time, so it made it on the cover. Tommy is on his tippy toes because he's way shorter than anyone else in the band. Also, Joey is hunched over quite a bit because he’s actually really freakin’ tall. A quick google search tells me he was 6’6”. Anyway, this album cover rules, and is in contention for the title of best album cover they ever did.
The drums are by no means modern, state of the art sounding drums, even by 1976 standards. The snare sounds a bit like Tommy’s smacking a pile of wet newspapers with his drumsticks. But he smacks the hell out of them! The kick drum is bassy and thumpy, but there’s not a ton of attack to it. But it works! It’s heavy and pounding. It’s exactly what this record needs. Joey’s vocals are double-tracked, meaning he sang his part twice, and they layered both performances on top of each other. It makes his voice sound big, as it echoes off of itself. When he chants “HEY! HO! LET’S GO!” it’s practically a declaration of war on boredom.
Listening to this record, the rawness almost gives the impression that it was recorded inside a garage, except it sounds far too good for that. In the liner notes for the 40th Anniversary Edition, producer Craig Leon goes into great detail about how they took measures to get exactly this sound. This isn’t the sound of a rushed, budget production. (Though it was quick, and it was relatively cheap. But that’s more due to the fact that the Ramones were fast and efficient in the studio. They got stuff done.) This sound was intentional. Craig Leon and the Ramones understood what they were doing. Unlike some of the producers the Ramones would deal with in the 80s, they understood that the Ramones’ best sound was loud, fast, raw, razor sharp, and not at all bloated. The production on this record was tailor made to get the best out of these songs, and the fit is perfect. This thing is a work of ART.
The guys listening to some mixes with Craig Leon and John Freeman
Now, let’s get into the meat of this thing: the songs!
Blitzkrieg Bop - written by Tommy and Dee Dee
The shot heard ‘round the world. The opening salvo of punk rock’s war against lame ass music. Tommy Ramone penned this song about a bunch of kids going to a concert and having a fun time, but Dee Dee made two major contributions. The first was when he changed the line, “they’re shouting in the back now” to “shoot ‘em in the back now.” The second was changing the title “Animal Hop” to “Blitzkrieg Bop.” Blitzkrieg being German for “lightning war.” Both of these changes had the effect of rendering the song’s meaning somewhat obscure, which is a bit rare for an early Ramones tune.
This song just simply kicks ass. The “Hey! Ho! Let’s Go!” chant that bookends the song became a rallying cry for Ramones fans everywhere, and for good reason. It’s fun as hell! The iconic main riff of this song is great. This tune is full of infectious energy, and is undoubtedly one of their greatest songs.
10/10 baseball bats
Beat on the Brat - written by Joey
This is maybe the greatest song about beating a child with a baseball bat ever written. If you’ve got any other contenders, let me know. Joey wrote this based on his experience growing up in Queens and dealing with annoying, spoiled children raised by rich parents.
A bit slower than Blitzkrieg Bop, the song starts with a great little herky-jerky stop and start riff before we get our first taste of something that I feel is sorely underappreciated: Johnny’s palm mutes. This is a guitar technique where the guitarist lays the edge of their hand against the strings, near the bridge of the guitar. This mutes the notes being played and gives them a sort of percussive effect. Johnny is a master of making the most of this. He has a way of altering the pressure on the strings that gives his playing a fun sort of bounce that I’ve never heard anyone else replicate.
The lyrics to this song are hilarious. “What can you do,” the song asks, “with a brat like that always on your back?” The answer is clear: take the bat to ‘em! When they played this live, Joey would often wield a baseball bat while singing. This is an all time classic Ramones tune. Cool riff? Check. Absurd violence? Check. Singable melody? Check.
10/10 baseball bats
Joey's got his bat. Look out kids!
Judy is a Punk - written by Joey
The first of the (somebody) is a (something) series of songs that these dudes would write, this song clocks in at a mere 1 minute and 32 seconds! This is a fun little blast of Ramones. Not much of an intro on this one, as Joey wastes no time jumping into the narrative of two fictional punks who join the Ice Capades and then the Symbionese Liberation Army. What are their motivations? We don't know. The only thing that is certain is that they might die.
Joey starts the second verse by proclaiming, "Second verse, same as the first!" Then he sings the first verse again. I don't know why he felt the need to warn us on this one and not all the other songs where they repeat verses. (I'm not checking myself here, but I'm pretty sure just about every song on this crazy ass record has repeated verses.) Then the words change up for the third verse. Luckily, Joey warns us by proclaiming, "Third verse, different from the first!" Thanks for the heads up, Joey!
9/10 baseball bats (I swear to you, not every song is going to be rated super high. This album is just full of good songs. Wait til we get to that one record from the 1980s. You'll be begging for a high score! MWAHAHAHA!)
I Wanna Be Your Boyfriend - written by Tommy
This is the sole ballad on this record, and is inspired by these guys' love of 1960s pop and love songs. And it's a good one! It's just not their best ballad. They would write some killer ballads in time, but this is a great start. We get our first taste of obvious instrumental overdubs here. There's a second guitar playing a beautiful, chimey part alongside Johnny's usual buzzsaw attack. I think it works. Mostly because it doesn't cover up anything Johnny and Dee Dee are actually doing, which is a real problem with some later overdubs. It's supplemental, rather than substitutive, in nature. It only adds. Some later overdubs feel a bit like the band or a producer is ashamed of the Ramones' trademark sound.
There's not a ton more to say about this one. It's a saccharine love song with a nice melody, beautifully sung by Joey. Oh! And it's got some really great background OoooOooOos for harmony.
Fun fact: live footage reveals that Johnny played this song with a capo on his guitar, which is a rarity.
8/10 baseball bats
Chain Saw - written by Joey
After the nice break that Boyfriend provided us, we're back to full speed ahead with this hilarious song. No, that's not a chainsaw running at the beginning of the song. It's a circular saw. What the crap, Ramones?
Early Ramones' bread and butter was absurd violence, and this song delivers it by the bucket full. Joey can't stop thinking about his girlfriend. Unfortunately, she's been abducted by chainsaw-wielding maniacs, and she won't be coming back. As Joey recounts, it's a "Texas Chainsaw Massacre. They took my baby away from me." That's right. He just rhymed "massacre" with "me." What're you gonna do about it?
I do question his love for this girl, though. Near the end of the song, he sings, "They chopped her up, and I don't care." If only he would have gotten over Linda so easily. (If you know, you know. If you don't, we'll talk about that later.)
9/10 baseball bats
"MassacrEE. That's how you say it, right?" Joey Ramone in the studio, probably.
Now I Wanna Sniff Some Glue - Written by Dee Dee
At last, we get our first pure Dee Dee song of the album. From this point on, he is a primary writer on every song on this album, with the exception of the lone cover song. Dee Dee would become the writer of most of the Ramones best songs, and he’s starting here with a doozy. Despite the lyrical content making up only a few short lines, this is probably the most musically interesting song on the album. It’s got chords that ring out, pauses in the music, and a freaking mini solo from Johnny! Not to mention, this song is about getting high off of sniffing glue. On the subject of sniffing glue, Dee Dee once said, “I hope no one thinks we really sniff glue. I stopped when I was eight.”
This song is a blast! The verses are sung over two alternating chords, just one full step apart. Then the next section occurs with a series of descending chords that are allowed to ring out–and are punctuated with drum hits from Tommy–before the song launches back into the previous section with the alternating chords. After moving through this cycle a few times, this song comes to a close when those previously held chords are instead strummed with a fury that threatens to devolve into utter chaos just before the song’s end. One gets the impression that this song somewhat mirrors the cycle of short-lived highs one might get from huffing adhesives.
9/10 baseball bats
I Don't Wanna Go Down to the Basement - written by Dee Dee and Johnny
This is the longest song on the album–clocking in at 2 minutes and 40 seconds–but it has some of the most minimal lyrics. Joey says he doesn't wanna go down to the basement. There's something down there, you see. The riffage on this song is pretty damn cool, and Johnny's buzzsaw attack is on full display as he plows through these bouncy, twisty chord changes. Seriously, who writes riffs like these?
Also, I have no idea why Joey doesn't sing the last half of the word "basement," but I love it.
8/10 baseball bats
Loudmouth - written by Dee Dee and Johnny
Dee Dee and Johnny are back with another one, and it kinda sounds like an alternate version of Basement. Listening to this album on CD or streaming reveals this similarity much more than on vinyl. On vinyl, you have to turn the record to side B to get to Loudmouth. That pause helps hide the similarity.
This is a tough sounding song with, once again, only a few brief lines for lyrics. Pretty standard, but then the outro of the song has the Ramones breaking up the monotony with some cymbal crashes and a stabby rhythm on the drums.
8/10 baseball bats
Dee Dee, Tommy, and Joey at one of their earliest concerts in the summer of 1974
After the somewhat serious Loudmouth, Dee Dee and Johnny give us this humorous tale about picking bananas and being a spy for the CIA…or something like that. I dunno, man, but there's a line that says "Havana-a-go-go!" and the chorus say "baby baby make me loco, baby baby make me mambo." That's awesome. Sometimes a second guitar comes in and doubles the main guitar and it is CAH-RUNCHY! This is a prime early Ramones song. Simple, fun lyrics. Cool riffs. Great sense of humor.
10/10 baseball bats
Listen to My Heart - written by Dee Dee
This song opens with Johnny striking a high E chord, and then immediately sliding down the neck to strike a low E chord. It's a great little intro. So great, in fact, that the Ramones will use this same exact trick on a later album, to even greater effect. I'll point it out when we get there.
Dee Dee pens an excellent song about a romantic relationship that didn't work out. He won't make the same mistake next time, he says. The juxtaposition of what should be a sad story with such a poppy, upbeat sound is so, so good. The early Ramones are masters of this kind of thing. If you don't catch yourself singing "next time I'll listen to my heart, next time I'll be smart," I just think you hate fun.
I'm gonna take this time to point out that this song does a thing that a lot of early Ramones songs do, and it does it to great effect. There are extended sections where the band just runs through some chord progressions or riffs, with no vocals and no overdubs or lead parts of any kind. It's awesome. These sections that lack a real melody serve two functions. First, they act like a palate cleanser between Joey's vocal runs. The contrast between the sparse, but still rocking sections and the sections that feature Joey's killer vocalizations is really nice. Second, this is the freakin' Ramones! I want to hear Johnny's guitar do its thing. (I'm a huge Johnny Ramone guitar fanboy, so if you're sick of hearing about it, just stop reading now. I promise you it's only going to get worse.)
9/10 baseball bats
53rd & 3rd - written by Dee Dee
This song is based on Dee Dee’s real life experience prostituting himself on the corner of 53rd & 3rd in Midtown Manhattan. Dee Dee struggled with heroin addiction on and off for most of his life, and sometimes he would turn tricks to fund his habit.
This song is badass and tough as nails. It's a mid-tempo number with a main riff that's gritty and grimy and mean as hell. It's all great, but the stand-out section is when Dee Dee cuts in to sing lead vocals on the bridge. His rough, half shouted vocal lines stand in stark contrast to Joey's pristine vocal delivery. Dee Dee sing-shouts about how he couldn't go through with the…ahem…"trick-turning," so he instead murdered his client to death. With a razorblade. Yikes!
And just when you thought the song was over, it was a false finish! The band kicks back in for one more section, with Joey singing the song's title on repeat. Hell to the yeah!
10/10 baseball bats
Johnny recording his legendary guitar tracks. No up-strumming allowed!
Let's Dance - written by Jim Lee
This is a cover of the 1962 hit song by Chris Montez. It's an alright song, but the Ramones take it up a notch. These guys have some super great cover songs in their catalog, but this one isn't quite to that level. It's an issue of song selection, though, not performance. The song opens on Tommy's drums doing a fun little thingamajig for a few bars, then Joey sings the opening lines before the entire band kicks in and does their Ramones Thing. Hey, what the fugg is the mashed potato dance, anyway?
Anyway, there's some pipe organ on this song, and it's pretty cool. This record knows how to do overdubs. They never take away from what the four guys named Ramone are actually playing.
7/10 baseball bats
I Don't Wanna Walk Around With You - written by Dee Dee
This is one of the earliest songs the Ramones wrote. The lyrics are extremely minimal. He doesn't wanna walk around with you. He doesn't wanna go out with you. So why you wanna walk around with him? (OooOooOoo!) That's all you get. That's all you need. Dee Dee is doing some fun stuff on bass here, instead of just sticking with the guitar like usual. There's something approximating a guitar solo, and like all truly great Ramones guitar solos, it's one note!
8/10 baseball bats
Today Your Love, Tomorrow the World - written by Dee Dee
The closing track on this album is a doozy. Seymour Stein, who owned Sire Records, hated the original opening lyrics to this song. They were "I'm a nazi baby, I'm a nazi, yes I am." He made the Ramones change them to "I'm a shock trooper in a stupor, yes I am." In concert, Joey always sang the original lyrics, and they're available on the 40th Anniversary Deluxe Edition. Dee Dee wrote this song about a fictional member of the Hitler Youth. Nazi imagery would sometimes find it's way into his songs, as he grew up in post-WWII West Germany and as a kid would sometimes find old Nazi artifacts to sell to pawn shops. Just for the record: half of this band were Jewish (Joey and Tommy). The Ramones are not a Nazi band. It's a dark joke. Shock value. It's all very tongue in cheek.
We get a couple chord progressions to open things up, and then Joey starts in after a few times through the rotation. Dee Dee's lyrics are about a German boy who is picked on, and then joins the Hitler Youth in response. Or something like that. It's not entirely clear, but it's fun. I mean, you can't really take it too seriously when these guys were just singing about sniffing glue and not wanting to go into the basement a few minutes ago. We get the verse and the chorus a couple times before the big finale. Joey belts out "TODAY YOUR LOVE, TOMORROW THE WORLD!" several times to end this record. The Ramones declared war at the beginning of this record, and they're ending it by declaring their intentions to conquer the musical world, one fan at a time. Damn, this had to be fun to sing along with the band when they were touring.
10/10 baseball bats
Totals:
Average song score: 8.9
Flow/Mood/Production/etc: 10
Cover art score : 9.7
Final album rating: A+
This is one of the Ramones' best records, and is one of the greatest albums of all time, by any band. It's revolutionary. It's fun. The songs are great all the way through, with only a small dip on a cover song that’s not quite up to par with the songs the Ramones penned. The production is great. The cover art is great. It rules hard.
The guys chilling in the studio, perhaps debating just what the hell could be in that basement
Next time: Hey! Ho! Let’s Go talk about their sophomore 1977 album, Leave Home!
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