ROAD TO RUIN

And then Tommy quit the band.

It was May of 1978, and he was sick and tired of it. Not the producing records part, but the touring life part of it. Any working-class touring musician will tell you it can be a grueling life anyway, but Tommy was touring with Johnny, Joey, and Dee Dee. Speaking of his former bandmates, Tommy once said, “They were very creative, intense, volatile people." On other occasion, he remarked, “We got along great until we started touring, which is true of a lot of bands, but the Ramones were different, they were a little higher strung than other bands. What made the music so different and exciting was their personalities, but their personalities were kind of rough to be in a band with. I lost touch with reality. I was in the Ramones world, not the normal world. It was like being in a Picasso painting, everything was sideways. You only have to listen to the songs to get an idea of what it was like to be with these people.” Dee Dee was a heroin addict with bipolar disorder. Joey had obsessive-compulsive disorder and leaned to the left, politically. Johnny was a hard-ass conservative. These were people who did not get along well, much of the time. You'd write a song called "Gimme Gimme Shock Treatment" if you played in this band, too.

It was a seismic shift for the band. If Dee Dee and Joey were the heart and soul of the band that wrote most of the great tunes, and Johnny was the muscle that made sure stuff got done, Tommy had been the brains behind the operation. Remember, he started as their manager before jumping behind the kit and had helped produce their first three albums. He was largely responsible for helping to craft the sound they pioneered. If the Ramones were anyone's band, they had been Tommy's band. Now he was out and they needed somebody else to pound the skins. The band would turn to none other than fellow Brooklyn native, Marc Bell. Marc was an actual, real deal drummer who had played in Richard Hell and the Voidoids, and hard rock band, Dust. (Check out Dust's album, Hard Attack. That shit is good!) Marc--who would take on the name Marky Ramone--brought a technical proficiency and a hard-hitting attack to the drums that Tommy had not provided. However, to make sure that Marky blended well into their sound, Tommy spent extensive time with him, showing him how to play Ramones style drums. Marky would make his debut on their fourth album, Road to Ruin.

The Ramones broke from tradition and went with an illustration for the cover of their fourth album. The original prototype was done by Ramones fan Gus MacDonald, but his design was modified for the final release by Punk magazine co-founder and cartoonist, John Holmstrom. This cover is so good. The Ramones finally complete their transformation into the larger-than-life cartoons that their songs make them out to be. It's perfection. A top tier album cover from these dudes. The colors are popping, the faces are really great caricatures, and a desolate slum lurks behind them, mirroring the tinge of loneliness, frustration, and pessimism that creeps it's way onto this album. Make no mistake--this record is more fun than a troupe of clowns trapped in a bouncy house, but it's a different kind of fun. These are not the bubblegum punk Ramones we've gotten on the last two albums. It's those gritty weirdos from the first album, only in color and more over-the-top than ever. 

FIVE Ramones?! From left to right: Marky (on his way in), Joey, Tommy (on his way out), Dee Dee, Johnny

Their previous album, Rocket to Russia, had, once again, under-performed commercially. It had only reached number 49 on the US Billboard 200. Pressure was growing for these guys to finally get a hit. So they tripled their efforts when they stepped into the studio in May of 1978. Recorded over the course of six weeks--significantly more than any of their earlier albums--Road to Ruin received a level of polish that the earlier records did not. Tommy stayed on to co-produce, once again, with Ed Stasium, and the two of them put the work in to ensure that this turned out to be the greatest sounding Ramones record that would ever be produced. Well, most of it, anyway. Nine of the twelve songs on this record represent the pinnacle of studio-recorded Ramones songs, from a production standpoint.

Those nine songs feature the best guitar tone Johnny will ever have. It's ripping and roaring and buzzsawing and kicking ridiculous amounts of ass. It contains a raw power and grit that has never before been, and will never again be, achieved on a Ramones record. It's like sandpaper scraped across your eardrums, only in a really pleasing way. Dee Dee's bass on those nine songs is full and punchy and just everything that bass on a Ramones album should be. The drums and cymbals, now beaten into submission by Marky, sound absolutely fantastic, as he pounds them with the authority that Tommy's light touch never really could. Luckily the drums sound this good on all twelve songs. Like the drums, Joey sounds fantastic on this entire record. It's his best vocal performance yet, as he does it all on this one. He sings with power on the punk stuff. He croons tenderly on the ballads. He carries the melodies with perfection no matter what he's doing.

But then there are three songs on this record where Tommy Ramone and Ed Stasium overplayed their hand. In an attempt to finally get these guys radio play, they absolutely borked the mix of these three songs. Layered with cheesy overdubs and stripped of Johnny and Dee Dee's playing, they sound nothing like the Ramones, aside from Joey's amazing vocal delivery. It's a goddamn rock 'n' roll tragedy.

Luckily, Ed Stasium produced a masterful new mix of the album for it's 40th Anniversary Deluxe Edition. This new mix, called the Road Revisited Mix, is similar to the redone Rocket to Russia mix that I discussed in the last entry. It contains Johnny's guitar (panned to the left), Dee Dee's bass (panned to the right), Marky's drums, Joey's vocals, and that's just about it. Though similar in scope to Rocket's new mix, the effect is much more massive. It's a revelation. It just might be the best way to listen to this album. It smooths out the dips on the record and returns that pure Ramones attack to the three songs that were mishandled on the original release. In ranking the songs, I will be including ratings for both mixes on all twelve songs, and I will point out significant differences where they occur. 

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I Just Want to Have Something to Do - written by Joey

Right away, we get a taste of the powerful production of this record as the Ramones power through a pounding stop-and-start riff to lead things off. They throw us a bit of a curveball on this one, because this opening song is a mid-tempo slow burn that is absolutely bursting at the seams with angst and tension. Joey sings the brief verse about being lonely and eating chicken vindaloo all by himself before we get to the chorus, which is just Joey singing "Too-oo-night" over and over. It's a fantastic chorus. After each chorus we go back to the opening riff, but now we get some gang vocals shouting "Wait! Now! Wait! Now!" Which is it, guys? Make up your minds!

Starting with the second chorus, things begin to build as we get some very lonely sounding guitar feedback behind everything. This simple trick builds the tension to greater and greater heights. By the time we get to the final chorus, the tension has reached unbelievable heights. It's truly goosebump-inducing, As the feedback soars and Marky increases the kick drum pattern to an impatient, persistent quarter note stomp, the band sounds like they are pushing as hard as they possibly can against an invisible wall that is preventing them from going any faster. They're pushing and pushing, and it's sliding, but it's not giving way just yet. Any moment now, they're going to blast through this wall and reach escape velocity, leaving this earth and the solar system behind as they blast through the cosmos with ludicrous speed rock 'n' roll. Just before they can destroy this wall, the song ends with an abrupt cutoff.

The remix mix lacks the overdubbed guitar feedback that adds so much tension to the original version. Still, the song is great without it. It doesn't need the feedback. The feedback is simply an amazing addition that takes a top 25 Ramones song and elevates it to a possible top 10 Ramones song.

Original mix - 10/10 servings of chicken vindaloo
Road Revisted mix - 10/10 servings of chicken vindaloo

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I Wanted Everything - written by Dee Dee

After the abrupt finish we got on the last track, the Ramones immediately plunge ahead into their full speed punk rock blitzkrieg with I Wanted Everything. At three minutes and nineteen seconds, this is the first song over three minutes that these dudes have put on an album. Dee Dee spins a tale of a disillusioned working class guy who turns to robbing a supermarket when he can't survive on his measly wages.

Seriously, who robs a supermarket, though?

The riffs and are the real star of the show on this one, and the lean, mean production highlights them perfectly as the guitar and bass wind and jump their way through a series of unexpected chord changes, accented by Marky's timely cymbal crashes. The only thing this song lacks is the strong vocal hook that all top tier Ramones songs have. Still, the riffs are so damn strong that it earns a high mark.

Original mix - 9/10 servings of chicken vindaloo
Road Revisted mix - 9/10 servings of chicken vindaloo

The prototype album art by Gus MacDonald. Note that Tommy's still on the drums here!

Don't Come Close - written by Dee Dee

Track number three is this great piece of songwriting by Dee Dee that features poetic, wistful lyrics and a fantastic hook in the form of the chorus, where Joey sings, "You don't come close!" Unfortunately, the production is terrible. Johnny and Dee Dee have been completely removed from the mix. In the place of their tracks we get a cheesy bass line and some radio friendly guitar tracks played by the studio crew. Any Ramones song that only features half the band just leaves me scratching my head. This song doesn't go straight into the dumpster only because the lyrics are fantastic, Joey absolutely owns those lyrics, and Marky's drumming is strong.

The Road Revisited Mix completely saved this song and finally returned it to the wonderful, punky, power poppy song that it was always destined to be. We actually get to hear Johnny and Dee Dee playing this time! Johnny has his guitar turned down, reducing the distortion a bit, which suits the song okay. The removal of the obnoxious overdubs also reveals a really nice Ramones style instrumental bridge where we get to just enjoy the perfect rhythmic precision of the band.

Original mix - 6/10 servings of chicken vindaloo
Road Revisted mix - 9/10 servings of chicken vindaloo

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I Don't Want You - written by Ramones

DUNDUNDUNDUN-DUNDUN
DUNDUNDUNDUN-DUNDUN

This song opens with an absolutely slamming riff that is so basic, yet so effective. Made up of just two chords, one full step apart, this riff brings the proper heft to this song about walking away from a relationship that's crumbled as a result of broken promises. The chorus is infectious, blunt, and endlessly singable. The chord progressions are perfect. There's not a ton more to say about this one, and that's because it's a perfect blast of Ramones. The guitar is ripping, the lyrics are to the point, and the melody is fun. What more could you ask for? Dripping with pessimism, anger, and brokenheartedness, I Don't Want You is undoubtedly one of their most underrated and underappreciated songs.

Hey, if you want to hear a really great live version of this song, check out their performance of it at the 1988 Provinssirock Festival in Finland.

Original mix - 10/10 servings of chicken vindaloo
Road Revisted mix - 10/10 servings of chicken vindaloo

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Needles and Pins - written by Sonny Bono and Jack Nitzsche

Originally a hit for The Searchers in 1964, the Ramones pulled this ballad out of the closet in 1978 and give it the ol' Joey touch up special. The lyrics are beautiful, and Joey imbues then with a level of sadness and agony that really works here. His vocal performance is nothing short of masterful. On the drums, Marky excels, intro-ing the song with a great little drum fill. Even better, he comes out of the bridge with a really nice roll across his kit that really sets up the final verse and chorus.

Johnny and Dee Dee do not fare as well. You see, once again, they're FREAKING MISSING. They've been removed and replaced by an after-the-fact baseline and a clean, shimmery guitar part that emulates the guitar on The Searchers' version. Why? If you're gonna do a cover, do it your own way. The Ramones way. At the very least, keep Johnny and Dee Dee and add some stuff over top of them. Don't take them out. This is a Ramones record, not a half-of-the-Ramones record. Laaaaame!

Yet again, the 40th Anniversary Road Revisited Mix is here to save the day! We actually get Johnny and Dee Dee with that trademark 8th note attack here. Johnny's guitar is clean-ish and that's totally fine. It works here. And we still get Joey's vocals and Marky's drumming. It's the best of everything.

Original mix - 7/10 servings of chicken vindaloo
Road Revisted mix - 9/10 servings of chicken vindaloo

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I'm Against It - written by Ramones

And here, on the sixth track, we finally get a taste of that sense of humor that permeated the first three records. Did you really think these guys were going to go an entire album without making a few jokes? This song serves as a parody of their contemporaries' protest songs. Punk was becoming increasingly political, and the Ramones--who began as a band because they wanted to put the fun back in rock 'n' roll--weren't going to be left out of the nay-saying. What's that, The Clash? You guys are pissed about the economic situation? The Sex Pistols, did you say that you hate the Queen? That's cute. The Ramones hate EVERYTHING! Here's a complete list of all the things the Ramones don't like, according to this song:

- politics
- communists
- games and fun
- anyone
- Jesus freaks
- circus geeks
- summer and spring
- anything
- sex and drugs
- water bugs
- caring about poverty
- anything but "me"
- playing ping pong
- the Viet Cong
- Burger King
- anything (yet again)

Beat that, Joe Strummer! Holy cow, this song is fun! I mean, they rhymed "sex and drugs" with "water bugs." And the riffs are top-tier Ramones riffs. These guys really had a way of writing riffs that was awesome. They'd just jump around from chord to chord for the sake of jumping around. I guess maybe that's just what you do to make your instrumentals interesting when you hate guitar solos, but damn it's cool.

The chorus is simply Joey singing, "I'M AGAINST IT!" It brings to mind Marlon Brando's character, Johnny, in The Wild One. "Hey Johnny, what are you rebelling against?" His response? "What d'ya got?" It's perfection.

Structurally, this song is a simple chorus-verse-chorus-verse-chorus-verse-chorus affair. A bridge? Pshhh. The Ramones hate those, too!

Original mix - 10/10 servings of chicken vindaloo
Road Revisted mix - 10/10 servings of chicken vindaloo

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I Wanna Be Sedated - written by Joey

Before a concert on November 19, 1977, Joey was inhaling steam from boiling water, in order to help clear his sinuses. On this occasion, though, somehow the boiling water exploded in his face, giving him severe burns. He went on stage that night, performing with burn cream all over his hands and face. After the show, he was hospitalized for treatment. It is during this hospital stay that he began writing I Wanna Be Sedated. Lyrically, the song focuses on the hardships of life on the road, specifically, the neverending hurry up and wait lifestyle. The line, "nothin' to do, nowhere to go-oh-oh" was inspired by the band being stuck in London on Christmas, when everything was closed down. With nowhere to go, Dee Dee and Joey stayed in their hotel room and watched movies.

Now's a good time to update our list of things the Ramones want and don't want.

The Ramones want:
- to be your boyfriend
- to sniff some glue
- to be a good boy
- to be well

- to have something to do

- everything

- to be sedated

The Ramones don't want:
- to go down to the basement
- to walk around with you

- you

The song opens up with maybe the best example of Johnny's palm mute technique there is. His guitar sounds extra bouncy, and it has a great texture to it. The lyrics are super fun and endlessly singable. Just before the one minute mark, we get the greatest Ramones guitar solo ever recorded. It's one note played for eight bars. That's how you put a guitar overdub on a Ramones record. Take notes, future Ramones producers! (Spoiler alert: they did not take notes.) After this solo, we get a key change! The band moves the song up a whole step, which just gives the whole thing a nice lift for the second half. 

We get a couple more verses, and then Joey begins singing the best part of the song. "Bam bam bam bam ba-bam bam bam bam, I wanna be sedated!" What a great way to end a song. Like so many Ramones songs, it works because it's super freakin' fun.

The Road Revisited Mix lacks the one note guitar solo, but that just means you get to focus more on Johnny's amazing palm mutes for a few bars. It's definitely a fair trade. 

Original mix - 10/10 servings of chicken vindaloo
Road Revisted mix - 10/10 servings of chicken vindaloo

A still from the I Wanna Be Sedated music video, which came out... *checks notes* ...ten years after the album.

Go Mental - written by Ramones

This one opens with a simple chord progression, but the production of this record really helps it shine. The chord progressions here are slidey and grindy, and the aggressive sandpaper guitar tone really elevates them. We get some goofy lyrics about a person who claims to have killed their family being released from a psychiatric hospital against their will. Joey rhymes "goldfish bowl" with "phenobarbital." Peak Ramones lyrics, here. 

The chorus is pretty hooky and features Joey pronouncing the word "mental" like "mentoo." You may be asking yourself, "Why?" I say, "Why not?" The outro of the song has a weird guitar overdub. It's a bizarro solo kinda thing. It doesn't work super well, because it just doesn't sound like anything Johnny would ever, ever play. It sticks out too much. But this is a very minor complaint. It's brief and it's not like it replaces or covers up anything the actual Ramones are playing. 

The Road Revisited Mix fades out before the weird overdub, but then fades back into it. It's just some simple note bends on this version, which works a bit better. 

Original mix - 9/10 servings of chicken vindaloo
Road Revisted mix - 9/10 servings of chicken vindaloo

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Questioningly - written by Dee Dee

What in the world is going on here? This Dee Dee penned ballad is the black sheep of the record. That's not necessarily a bad thing, but it is a shock, as it's so far removed from anything they've done to this point. It is a nice piece of songwriting, though. Dee Dee tells us the story of two former lovers who run into each other, their encounter dredging up painful memories.

It would be a perfectly fine song if it wasn't totally butchered by the production. Once again Dee Dee is totally absent. In his place, we get a very non-Ramones bass line. Johnny might still be here in some capacity, but only just barely. We get some super cheesy country style guitars and the whole thing sounds like a parody, but it's not. Blech.

The Road Revisited Mix dumps the replacement baseline and cheesy guitar. We get Johnny strumming his electric, along with some acoustic guitar. We get Dee Dee on bass. It actually features all the Ramones playing, and that counts for a lot. Still, it's not a standout track. It's a nice little tune that feels a bit out of place. 

Original mix - 5/10 servings of chicken vindaloo
Road Revisted mix - 7/10 servings of chicken vindaloo

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She's the One - written by Ramones

And here, on track ten, we get our first bit of optimism! This is such a pessimistic record, compared to their first three. Perhaps the pressure to have a hit record, and the continued failure to do so, was weighing heavy on these guys? Anyway, this song hits like a ray of sunshine breaking through overcast skies. It's powerful, it's fun, it's upbeat. Nobody even dies in this one! It's a nice bit of bubblegum fun on a record that almost forgot these guys could do that kind of thing. And most importantly, it's catchy as hell. Joey, ever the romantic, sings about his dream girl. She's the only one for him. Nobody else could ever compare. Aw, that's sweet.

The guitar--featuring a rare minor chord!--rips and shreds it's way through this masterpiece of pop goodness. The Road Revisted Mix of Don't Come Close honestly could have done with a bit of this distortion. Would've elevated it to the top. We get some nice harmony oooooos on a few lines, and the part that I'm going to call the bridge ("Know I'll never find a girl like you...") has a subtle overdub on it with some clean, chiming chords ringing out. It's a nice touch. This song kick ass.

Original mix - 10/10 servings of chicken vindaloo
Road Revisted mix - 10/10 servings of chicken vindaloo

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Bad Brain - written by Ramones

I Wanted Everything, Gone Mental, and this song feel a bit like they're a trilogy. The former two entries are really good, but this one finally goes over the hump from Really Good to Exceptional. The song opens with an amazing guitar riff, before switching to another amazing guitar riff, before switching to a third amazing guitar riff. When the verse starts, things finally kind of chill out a bit...NOT! They give us ANOTHER kick ass riff on the verses. C'mon guys, this is not fair to your contemporaries. How are they supposed to keep up? You're just running up the score at this point. It's okay, though, because I like it!

Lyrically, we get a tale of somebody with all the potential in the world, but who flamed out and never achieved the success that seemed so guaranteed. The protagonist blames it on his "bad, bad brain." I wonder who they could be talking about?

Near the end, we get a really cool drum break, accompanied by slide whistles, bells, and all kinds of other clicks and fun noises. Then Joey comes back in, singing, "Bad, bad brain" over and over. The guitar and bass join him after a few repetitions, and the song completes it's descent into madness.

The Road Revisited Mix lacks the literal bells and whistles, but they aren't missed very much. They were a bit of a single cherry on top of the world's most delicious cake. Who cares if it's missing?

Fun fact: This song is where D.C. hardcore legends, Bad Brains, got the inspiration for their name. 

Original mix - 10/10 servings of chicken vindaloo
Road Revisted mix - 10/10 servings of chicken vindaloo

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It's a Long Way Back - written by Dee Dee

This album opened with a mid-tempo barn burner, and it's closing with a mid-tempo disintegration. I mean that in the best way. This is one of the greatest closing tracks these guys will put on a record. Where the opening track--and all the other tracks that followed it--felt tight and energetic, this one feels like a band with the wheels just starting to come off. It's a long exhale of a song, after the manic rock 'n' roll that preceded it. There's a really refreshing looseness in the performance of this one. The guys decided to let us down nicely this time. 

The song begins with a slow, descending chord progression that leads us into this desolate tune. After a bit, Joey takes us through the verse. Here's the complete lyrics to the song:

You by the phone

you all alone

it's a long way back to germany

it's a long way back to germany

This verse gets repeated three times. That's it. That's all you get. That's all you need. It's a lonely, homesick song. And there's something funny about about a band that's so dedicated to finding rhymes that they'll rhyme "massacre" with "me," but they won't change that second "to germany" to "home." It's genius. They're screwing with us at this point. The original mix gives us a chill guitar solo before the final verse. It kind of works, but it's not there on the Road Revisited Mix, and the song doesn't miss it at all. 

Original mix - 10/10 servings of chicken vindaloo
Road Revisted mix - 10/10 servings of chicken vindaloo

The Ramones performing on German television in 1978

Totals (original mix):
Average song score: 8.8
Flow/Mood/Production/etc: 9
Cover art score: 9.5
Final album rating: A

Totals (40th Anniversary Road Revisited Mix):
Average song score: 9.4
Flow/Mood/Production/etc: 10
Cover art score: 9.5
Final album rating: A+

Road to Ruin is a great album. It's the final studio album of their classic, 1970s period. It's not as silly as the first three records, but it finds it's own way to be an immensely fun Ramones record. Whether this is their best record or not is a complicated question. Between the atmosphere, great songwriting, excellent guitar tone, and classic Ramones riffs, it certainly makes a good case for itself. However, while the original version has maybe the highest highs of the first four, it also has the lowest lows. It's inconsistent, due to the production of three of the songs. If those three sounded just like the other nine songs, it would be the clear winner. The mixing on the other nine is insanely good. The best way to listen to this record in 2023 may be to either just listen to the absolutely killer Road Revisited Mix, or, if you like some of the more tasteful bells and whistles of the original mix, make your own custom playlist using mostly the original mixes and the Road Revisited Mixes for Don't Come Close, Needles and Pins, and Questioningly. 

I Don't Want You to miss the next entry when I talk about their 1979 live album, It's Alive, and review some deep cuts that didn't quite make it onto these first four records!